Dear friends and members of University UMC:
For years, I have followed the brilliant and down-to-earth Lutheran pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber. She is funny, faithful, and–with her fabulous arm tattoos (including one of Mary Magdalene) and unapologetic use of a cuss word here and there–she’s also a little edgy. She is wholeheartedly in love with the world, Jesus, and all kinds of people. The church she started in Denver years ago is called “The House for All Sinners and Saints.” It’s an appropriate name given that inclusivity is a core tenet of Bolz-Weber’s beliefs. Months ago, she posted a blog letting her followers know that she would be taking a break from writing due to a need for self-care following a bad health diagnosis. I remember reading her words and feeling my heart sink. I knew there were people all around the world having the same experience - reading her words and feeling their hearts sink.
Right now, the calendar is moving us towards Christmas. As I’ve shared before, holiday songs sing that this is the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year!”; and yet, it is a time of great difficulty for a great number of people. Whether it’s the first holiday season following the death of a family member or close friend, living with an estranged relationship or depression, learning of a health concern, or in general just reeling with the daily news cycle, it is understandable to feel more “blue” than cheery. Below you will find a link to a page on our website with prayers and resources for those experiencing loss and sorrow.
Earlier today, I met with our Caregivers Support Group. This is always a beautiful time of coming together. We provide a safe space to share what is difficult about caring for their loved ones, as well as unexpected moments of joy in the midst of it all. In the U.S., it is estimated that between 53 million and over 100 million adults provide unpaid caregiving for ill, aging, or disabled friends and family members. These statistics were shared in a PBS special on caregiving earlier this year. The creators of this documentary go on to say, “As caregiving in America faces the twin pressures of an aging baby boomer generation and rising life expectancy, the United States’ long-term care system threatens to tip into crisis. The film will personalize this urgent national issue through stories from caregivers and interviews with experts as they fight to give caregivers the security and support they provide for so many others.” I’ve placed below a video introducing the documentary on caregiving that can be found on various streaming services.
Earlier this week, Nadia Bolz-Weber returned with her first blog post in months. She shared an update on what she’s been going through, and I found my suspicion that she may have received a cancer diagnosis correct. With many others, I had been thinking of her, and praying, and fearing what might be happening. It was good to hear her voice again. In addition to all the other words used to describe her, she is also a breast cancer survivor now. Towards the end of her update, she leaves her readers with an important message. She writes, “I’ve been asking for folks to please refrain from sharing things with me like: natural remedies, anecdotes about people you know who have had breast cancer (unless it’s you!), and I can’t state this strongly enough… anything with pink ribbons. Thanks for your understanding.” I appreciate her honest direction. Because the last thing anyone going through a hard time needs is someone else’s advice, no matter how well-intended the advice-giving is. Unless asked for it, in my experience, it’s better to choose the perhaps more difficult practice of offering a loving and safe space that includes less talking and more listening, less advice-giving and more asking of what would be helpful. I’m including one final resource below, and it’s a Prayer for Caregivers and Ancestors. I stumbled across it when reading for sermons this Advent, as our theme is “Ancestral Knowledge.” It’s a good prayer practice even for those not actively engaged in the role of caregiving at this time. It’s a reminder that our lives have been touched by ancestors who have gone before us and descendants that will come after us. It’s a reminder that all we feel and experience is welcomed in the holy presence of God, even - and perhaps especially - the hardest things. And it’s a promise you are loved beyond measure and that your life is of infinite worth.
What a joy to be your pastor!
Teresa
