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Dear friends and members of University UMC:
I am writing this Friday note on Wednesday evening. I have gone about my day, and there has been good work, meaningful connections, and many moments to point towards while proclaiming “life is good!” And yet my mind is preoccupied with news story upon news story of gun violence. When I don’t know how to pray, I usually do one of two things: 1) I take a walk, or 2) I read a Psalm. Because I have a broken toe, I didn’t have the luxury today to walk in ways that are therapeutic to me. So here I sit. Feeling numb and ill-equipped to offer anything in the way of help for this world’s suffering.
The Psalm that’s been in my hands today is Psalm 79. I recall the shooting earlier in the day, Wednesday, here in Austin near Zilker Park. I remember church members who live in the area being asked to shelter in place. I take a deep breath and read the words: “O Merciful Presence, the ignorant seem unrestrained in the world; they defile the Sacred Altar, your dwelling place within; they leave those weaker than themselves in ruins.” I lament yet another school shooting, this time in Colorado. About an hour earlier, Charlie Kirk was shot at an event at Utah Valley University.
I have lost count of the number of times I’ve written about gun violence. But I know God never fails to grieve each life impacted and every life taken. A poem by Pádraig Ó Tuama reads: |
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| When I was a child, I learnt to count to five one, two, three, four, five. But these days, I’ve been counting lives, so I count
one life one life one life one life one life
because each time is the first time that that life has been taken. – “The Pedagogy of Conflict” by Pádraig Ó Tuama |
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| Kirk was known for not only being opposed to common sense gun reform, but he was also known for saying that gun deaths in exchange for the protection of Second Amendment Rights were an inevitable part of America’s reality. Here I confess my sin. Upon hearing he was shot, my mind immediately remembered this vile perspective of his–that current gun rights are worth protecting even if people keep dying by gun violence. When hearing of his death, I also grew angry, recalling his hateful, homophobic, and transphobic rhetoric. But then I heard the voice of God in the voice of others. Ó Tuama, who learned to count deaths one by one, because each life matters to God. The Psalmist pleading with God: “Pour out your Love on every nation, open the hearts of all people; We await a new birth of Consciousness, we call upon your Name!” A new colleague and friend, who writes: |
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| “Charlie Kirk was shot today while speaking on a college campus in Utah. This horrific act of violence will lead to more violence. As Dr. King said, it is a descending spiral that leads to destruction for all. If we do not do something about our gun problem in this country, nothing will change. If we do not do something about our hateful dehumanization of those we disagree with, nothing will change. I’m praying for Charlie and his family”– Zach Lambert, pastor of Restore Austin,in a Facebook message on Sept 10 |
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| Non-Violence, also known as The Knotted Gun, is a bronze sculpture by Swedish artist Carl Fredrik Reuterswärd. It is located at the United Nations HQ in New York City. |
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| Dear ones, let us be the ones who have the strength and grace to hold both justice and mercy. May we condemn acts of violence while never failing to see the humanity in those we would label ‘other.’ And may we guard our hearts from the tendency to become that which we despise. In order to become the very peace and mercy we long to see in this world, we need community. We need people who will support us when we are hurting. We need others who will listen to the anguish of our hearts. We need trusted friends who will hold us accountable when our passion for justice disintegrates into self-righteous judgment. We need community.
These days, a broken toe seems an incredibly minor problem–more like an inconvenience. It's a privilege to be able to walk for physical and mental health whenever I have the desire or feel the need. Now I can’t distract myself by walking away. Being forced to be still is perhaps Holy Wisdom at work–inviting me to sit with my grief, open myself to the pain of the world, and discover the love of God that beckons us to love the world and all of humanity.
Below you will find good words from wise souls. A quote from Pastor Zach Lambert of Restore Austin. The entire Psalm 79, translated by Nan Merrill. And words from Cole Arthur Riley about community and belonging that were shared in worship this past Sunday. Please take care of yourselves and know you are loved beyond measure.
What a joy to be your pastor!
Teresa |
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| | Psalm 79translated by Nan Merrill
O Merciful Presence, the ignorant seem unrestrained in the world; they defile the Sacred Altar, your dwelling place within; they leave those weaker than themselves in ruins.Chaos and destruction follow them, as they oppress the poor through deception and greed, and kill the faith-filled who resist.How long will the unjust bring anguish to the loving, to those who seek justice and peace?
How long, O Indwelling Presence? Will your patience last forever? When will You awaken our long dormant spirits?
Pour out your Love on every nation, open the hearts of all people;We await a new birth of Consciousness, we call upon your Name!For the ignorant and unloving are laying waste to the planet!
Let the cries of the victims of injustice come before You; according to your great Power, break the bonds of oppression!Let all that has been garnered through greed be returned in full measure with open hands.Then we your people, those who would companion with You, will give thanks to You forever; from generation to generation we will abandon ourselves into your hands with grace-filled, open hearts. |
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| | | We hear a lot about the loneliness epidemic and the need for belonging. Black author Cole Arthur Riley writes about Belonging in her book “Black Liturgies.” |
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| There is something inherently vulnerable about saying you want to belong. For, to name you are lonely, and then to be met with nothing, only doubles the loneliness. It is much easier to construct illusions around your ‘independence’ and solitariness. To admit your desire to be known would mean acknowledging the shame asleep in you that says you aren’t worth knowing - the doubt that says they cannot be trusted to love you.Perhaps you know what it is like to need to believe a certain doctrine or creed so that you can belong in a spiritual space, or to vote a certain way to belong at the dinner table. When someone places your very belonging at stake, they are prodding an ancient wound. Not all belonging is salve. For you, I want more. I want friendship, romance, family. I want a community that will not destroy you. I want belonging that isn’t always at risk, that isn’t always being threatened. To be known is not frivolous; it is survival. You will not survive by self-care and self-love alone. Who will hold you? Who will remember you? You, who are something to behold. You, who are flawed and mysterious and needy and good.Belonging is not too great an ask. Find your sacred company. And may they find and cherish you. |
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