Dear friends and members of University UMC:
Today I’m thinking about anger. It’s not a pretty emotion. While it manifests differently from person to person and circumstance to circumstance, most of us can agree that being angry doesn’t feel good. That doesn’t make anger wrong. After all, in our Bible studies, we know faithful people like the prophets and Jesus were angry at times. They even expressed their anger to others. Being angry isn’t necessarily a bad emotion, but it usually feels bad. To be honest - I’m not just thinking about anger, I’m feeling it. I was about to write the words “I confess….”, but I heard my longtime spiritual director’s voice in my head: “You confess when you do something wrong. But feeling angry isn’t wrong.” So maybe I know I’m not ‘bad’ to feel angry. I just don’t like feeling it. My breathing is more shallow. My sleep is more restless. My thoughts are more cloudy.
I share this because I have a feeling I’m not alone. In recent days, I’ve awakened to the reality of this emotion living in me. At first, I was embarrassed and wanted to try and push it aside. But as I sat with all I felt, I knew that at the bottom of it all was grief. The deaths of saints in our community. The news of terrible health diagnoses among family and friends. The policies and decisions that are bending the arc of justice in the wrong direction. Life was already a lot. And then the heavy rains came, bringing what would become a horrifying and deadly event. It’s been one week since the devastating flood in the Hill Country. By the latest counts, over 120 people have died. Many of them children. Each day brings more information about those lost. Each name, face, and story behind the numbers brings a new wave of grief.
In my own life experience as well as my experiences as a pastor holding space for people in pain, I know that anger most often comes from a place of deep sadness. Artist Scott Erickson created a new piece of artwork that speaks to our collective sorrow.
